Writing letter to Ex after a break-up

My Ex-gf and I broke up a copuple of months ago afer two years.
I blame myself and my failure to adequately express my needs.
It ended suddenly as is common for me - a defensive response. Now she won't talk to me.

I want to write a letter with the intention of articulating emotions at the time. I want to find some closure. I want her to appreciate where these feelings might have originated. I want to leave the door open to a possible reconciliation.

Have you experience of writing a post-break-up letter? How did things go for you? Can you recommend any particular approach?

I am not someone that has had success reignitiing relationships once they are lost. I think when trust is lost, there is not much hope of getting trust back unless the other person is pining away hoping you will reach out to them.

I would try in person or on the phone because there is a give and take and room to respond what they say.

CANDC

[If you want me to see your reply to this post please include @CANDC in your message - not in requoting my message and not the first word of your message]

I have neen on the receiving end of those letters several times & basically responded with a "you are the way you are & I don't choose to have that in my life any longer. We make our choices & it is time to get on with the life as we have chosen it. Nothing more needs to be said."

Your emotions at the time are most likely irrelevant & would not make a difference in her not speaking to you but would more than likely come across as nothing more than justification as to how badly you responded to her. (Probably not the first time). Usually when someone no longer talks to you....they are telling you by their silence that they don't want to put up with it any more.

That is usually a sign to go find someone more compatible with your needs

"It ended suddenly as is common for me - a defensive response"

Who ended the relationship? You - or her?

"I want to find some closure."

You may never find closure, unfortunately....

"Have you experience of writing a post-break-up letter?"

Generally speaking once my relationships have ended, they have well and truly ended, particularly when ended by the other party.

" I want to leave the door open to a possible reconciliation."

Just don't get hurt!

I am in the middle of this right now. If you are prepared to open that door with a letter, BE PREPARED FOR IT. I opened the door of communication when trust was broken, and every day I just wait around for him to respond to my emails. It's torturous. Sometimes I wish we would have let it stay at no contact - but honestly, I am grateful he is in my life rather not at all. It is up to you to know what you want to get out of writing that letter.